NOASSATALL

When I seen this ass, I had to take a picture. WTF?

This pic should make a lot of women feel good about themselves

ASS BAG SKIT

Am I The Only One Who Finds This Funny??

LMAO

Wasted Cash - Paranormal Activity

MOVIE REVIEW

Paranormal Activity

A FUCKING F+

OMFG, where do I start. I really want to talk about the ending first, but we will progress through the movie. This movie is about a demon that follows, terrifies, possesses and controls this ho named Katie. Her boyfriend Micah buys a bunch of equipment like a video camera, evp recorder and some other shit to record the paranormal activity. Side note - Katie didn't tell Micah about this wild shit before she moved into a home with him.

Before I seen this movie, I was told that I had to be patient with the movie. I was told that this movie was scary. They told me this is based on a true story.

WRONG

WRONG

WRONG

The movie didn't get interesting until the last 10 minutes of the movie. I thought the movie was setting up for a big finish....

WRONG again

In an effort not to be the jerk that everyone knows me to be, lets just say that Katie did not do a great acting job. Fuck it, the bitch sucked. She wasn't convincing at all. Micah did a great job on the other hand. He made the audience laugh. He made the audience relate to what was going on. and he was the one who held the camera for most of the film.

The best part of the scene happened about 20 minutes before the flic was over. The demon pulled Katie out of the bed and dragged her out of her bedroom and down the hallway. Micah jumped up and wrestled Katie away from it. This 15 seconds of the film was something to talk about. Random shout out to whoever created that camera magic. Throughout the movie, you do not actually see the demon. You see his shadow. You see his footprints. You see his bite marks. But you do not see this invisible presence dragging Katie down the hallway.

Okay, I'm jumping to the last scene. Normally I wouldn't tell you what happened, I would say go see the movie. BUT, this isn't the case. Don't go see this piece of shit film. Final scene, this demon possessed ho wakes up and just stands up staring at her boyfriend. Then the demon pulls the covers off of Micah who is still sleeping. After a couple hours of just standing and staring, she walks downstairs and starts screaming. Micah, runs downstairs but leaves the camera behind. Then the screaming stops and it gets silent. The viewer is still in the room waiting to find out what happens. This you hear footsteps. Then Micah's body is thrown at the camera. With, demonic movement, Katie walks over to make sure that Micah is dead before jumping at the camera lens.

This is the first time that I witnessed the entire theater still seated when the movie ended. It wasn't because they were shocked. It wasn't because they were scared. It was because everyone was still waiting for more. No one could believe that they wasted their money and saturday night. no one could believe that the movie was really over.

Yahoo movies gave Paranormal Activity a B+ and Law Abiding Citizen a C-. How the hell could this have happened? I'm in the movie theaters a lot, so I will give you the true movie grades.

Kanye Might Lose Some Money Over This

***DEAD***

Things I Can't Understand

Why do white people treat there dogs like people?? I dont get it. I've had pets. I've had dogs. I cant understand how these dogs get treated better than the kids. Kissing the dogs on the mouth?? So what if they have the "cleanest mouth." Kissing a dog on the mouth is disgusting. Sharing a pillow with a dog is disgusting. Dogs move easier than humans, why are you carrying that dog??



I bet there is someone who wipes their dogs ass after that use the bathroom too.

Is Kanye an Asshole??

Tonight, at the VMAs, Kanye West ran on stage, snatched the mic from Taylor Swift during her thank you speech and said a few words. I definitely do not consider this out of his character, but has he gone too far?? I doubt it was a publicity stunt. He had the urge to express what he believed, but has he gone too far??

Yeah, he's an asshole.

But so what, how many of you agree with what he said??

Will he apologize, blame it on the Henny,or just say Fuck Taylor?? I must say, I don't feel sorry for Taylor. Her dumb ass should have never given him the microphone. Would you give Kanye the microphone the way he walked up there?? I wonder if she cried after that. I need a couple pictures of that if she did.

Perform in front of the pet??

Am I the only one who feels weird trying to get it in while a pet is in there??

Have you ever had an animal stare at you while your getting some?? Guys, can you imagine going to work on that ass from the back, and look up and see a happy ass dog staring at you. Girls, think about throwing that ass back on a dude, and throw your head up to get that hair out your face and see a confused dog sitting six feet away from the bed.

I remember gettin shit poppin one late night as a youngin'. Nobody was home, at least that's what I was told. I'm in it going crazy, with a porno on the computer playing and everything. Drunk, high, enjoying everything then I felt something fall on my leg. I stopped and turned around and there's a god damn cat sitting on me. I didn't know how to react, she laughed. To shorten the story, I made her remove the kitty from the bedroom. Aight, so I'm back in it. Pumpin and a sweatin (pops voice). Then I hear the door creak. I'm thinking, "Damn, her father snuck up on us." I laid down motionless, thinking I was going to be able to play this off. MEOW. This mother fucking cat just fucked up another nut.

I know this white couple that gets it poppin while the dog's lying on the bed. They say they share the bed with the dog regularly, so they never kick it out when it's time to make babies. They also said the dog licks their feet sometimes and wouldn't answer if they like when that happens. I took it as a yes. Is that considered a three some?? I'mtrying not to judge people, but thats nasty. I will never forget that conversation. I used to have an iguana that used to watch porno. He also used to watch my bed. He would watch every minute of it, from the 4play to the roll over. I used to feel like something was wrong in the beginning. I swear he was trying to break out of the cage when I had a girl over. I would throw a towel over the tank so he couldn't see anything. After a while, it didn't matter to me.

What do you think??

Things I Can't Understand

Why do Asian women's butts looked like they are sucking up the pants?? I swear, you can find a cute Asian girl with a nice chest. Nice stomach. Thick wit Hips. All that. But when you turn them around you think you bout to be sucked into a black hole. Am I wrong to ask the next one, "Why is there a vortex in your pants??"

Fellatio, etc. etc.

I originally started writing an entry about how do you ask a girl to give you head. Whats the best way to ask?? Whats the worst way to ask?? Etc. Etc. Then I started thinking about the funniest ways to ask which lead me to the topic of the day. What are the funniest terms for fellatio?? Everyone has different words for what I call hed. Peep the spelling (hed - no 'a'). Courtesy of Noreaga in the 90's, back when he was hott, I dropped the A. Some dudes in Virginia came up with Scop Bobble Bop. This has to be the funniest term I've ever heard in my life. Honest, I understand the bobble part. I can also see that the bop was added to rhyme with scop, but where did this initial scop come from?? It is plain comedy to me. And what about wops or head wops. Shout to any dude who has asked a girl wops with a straight face. LOL. And if you got the WOPS after that, you deserve an award. Scholarship. I've heard my boy from Jersey ask for a scholarship from some chick over the phone. This is classic. It went from getting brains, to getting smart, to getting a scholarship. I'm laughing at this while I'm writing it. One of my old shorties used to call it juicin'. This is classic as well. I definitely understand the meaning of the term, but the fact that the only time I've ever heard this term was out of a girls mouth (peep the pun), is bananas. My man from MASS used to call it Snuffleup. He obviously shortened Snuffleupagus (spell check) for this. I triple fuckin dare you to ask for some SNUFFLEUP and get it. Sexual Banter or Banter. Don't Judge Me, but when I heard Clinton say it, I died. Everyone knows this story, so there is no need to proceed. The slush. This is also from the dudes in VA with the Scop Bobble. Slush refers to the sound the mouth makes when going to work. If you donit hear that slush, or if you cant hear the head at all, the head ain't being performed correctly. On that note, I'm off this. I have a feeling there will be a part 2 though.

Don't Do It!

I had a conversation yesterday with my cousin that has me puzzled. I wish I knew how some people think. I can't understand is how dudes wife up the neighborhood jumpoff. I need to know a few things

• Are you serious??
• What makes you want to build a relationship with a certified slut??
• What makes you wanna build a relationship with someone who has slept with four or five people that you deal with on the regular basis??
• Are you in denial??
• Is the pussy really that good??
• If yes, do your friends agree, because shes probably still fucking some of them??
• Have you ever envisioned any of your friends smashing your girlfriend??
• If yes, does that turn you on or something??
• Do you kiss her passionately??
• Did anyone warn you about her??
• How many videos of her did you see on other niggas' phones??
• Did anyone tell you to stop dealing with her??
• Do you love this song??

If this is you, holla at me with some answers.
SamiKash@Gmail.com

Free Country Part 1

I hear this at least five times a week. "We live in a free country." What the fuck is free about the country we live in?? I paid for my cars. I just received my tax bills in the mail today. If this is a free country, why do I have to pay taxes on the shit I bought? I bought my house, and I have to pay close to five grand a year in taxes. I understand why I must pay the taxes, but what exactly is free about our country??

Free speech?? The first and fifth amendments only apply in court. I know plenty of people who have gotten arrested for doing nothing more than talking shit to a cop. I've gotten hit a couple times for telling a cop "shut the fuck up" or "get the fuck away from me" or "you ain't shit without that badge and gun." You can say I talk to police with a lot of respect. Is it really our constitutional right to say whatever you want. Were you able to say whatever it was that you wanted to your parents?? Here's a hint.... Hell no. I was a bad little mother fucker, so I said whatever it was I wanted to say. And I got my ass beat for it. I paid for my words, therefore they were not free.

The fifth amendment allows us to remain quiet, do we always have that choice?? When the cops walk up to you and ask you something, and you remain quiet, you're going to the station. No matter the situation. They will make you pay for being quiet. If your boss asks you why you are late and you respond with silence, the professional relationship is damaged. Your comfort level at work decreases, therefore you pay for being silent.

So I ask again, what the fuck is free?? I've heard air and opportunity. Yeah air is still free, unless you live in north jersey. Yesssss. North Jersey smells like dog farts. I said it, now let's move on. Opportunity?? how much opportunity do we have in this economy. The number of college graduates are increasing and the number of jobs available is decreasing. I'm always the one to say there's a lot of money to be made, but the opportunities of getting it is evaporating. You have to put in a lot of work to get one of the few opportunities left, therefore we must pay for our opportunities.

Welfare and other forms of State aid might seem free to those receiving it. But how can it be free when I'm paying for the shit. I'm tired of paying this crazy amount of taxes so that a bunch of "citizens" can live lazily. So the people who are doing something with their life, must support the people who are doing nothing. Seems to me like the only way to get something free, is to live life effortlessly. The more you make and the more you grow, the more you must give away. So please tell me, what the fuck is free??

Good Sex

What is it about sex that has people fucked up?? Call me whatever you want, but I'm a believer that good sex can change the world. Think about that feeling youhave after you get a good nut, are you gonna run out and kill someone? Are you going to rob a bank after that? Are you going to fight after that? Good sex is the ultimate relaxation method. It can put you to sleep. It can make you forget about life's stressful nature. Good Sex can hold a relationship together for years. Good Sex involves mouths. Good Sex makes you breathe heavy even when you're not moving. Good Sex is the best exercise ever. Good Sex will leave multiple wet spots.

Good Sex can sometimes be a bad thing. Good sex can have you following someone that you shouldn't be in contact with at all. Good sex can have you forgetting about your obligations and responsibilities. Good sex can have you late for work. Good Sex can have you daydreaming while you're at work, getting nothing done. Good Sex can make a man pay for it (I don't understand it, but it happens). Good Sex can start rumors. Good Sex can make you act out of character. Good Sex can have you begging for it.

People say that sex isn't everything, but can you imagine if there wasn't a such thing as sex. If there was a different way of reproduction.... I'm serious just think about it for a second. Could you live a whole lifetime without sex. What would substitute sex?? Full body massages. Would people be rubbing shoulder on rose petals and candle light?? Would people have rub down fetishes?? Would people be in the gym like, "Yeah, she a freak, I rubbed the fuck out her big toe." Would you have to put on rubber gloves to give these massages. Life without sex would suck.


Shout out to everyone getting good sex.

Dumb Drunk Sh*t

Take a second and think about the first couple of thoughts that popped through your head when you read this title. Everyone has done some drunk shit in their life. Some, definitely dumber than others, but it's alright. I have spent too much time doing dumb drunk shit.


To top my list of dumb drunk shit, I have tried a couple times to open the door of the house with my car remote. Yeah, I know. I stood there pressing open, expecting the back door to fly open. I've also waken up on the side of roads and highways with no clue of how I got there or why I was there. I've sent my brother into the spot to get me a slice of pizza and driven home to go to sleep before he came out. I've waken up drunk and gone to work in the morning plenty times. I have gotten so drunk that I couldn't see and called the wrong chick. I tried to fight a cop downtown a couple towns. AG saved me once. J Hite saved me twice. I hate cops, but that's another entry in itself. I've peed on car door handles when the weather was below freezing so the piss would solidify on them, don't judge me. I've called my ex a celeberity's name. I do not remember which one.


Compared to other's, I'm just average. I know a dude who got faded and kissed a random crackhead bum in Philly. I know a drummer for a band, who actually has a video on MTV now, who woke up drunk in Virginia with a tattoo across all of his fingers. It says HOPELESS, of all things. He still doesn't even know the tattoo spot that he went to, to get it done. My boy tried to kill his cat with a plastic spoon. My other boy went a fair one with his mother. I know a girl who passed out in her car, threw up and peed on herself. I know a dude who passed out in the club bathroom, and shitted on himself. I know best friends who got drunk and fought each other in front of the cops. The fight escalated from a dumb ass argument over who was more drunk. I know someone who jumped from his bedroom window and broke his arm. One night stands with someone you normally wouldn't be caught in the same crowded room with. My boy sat with a bad one at the bar of a club and spit game while spitting up. How you throw up and holla at someone, I don't know, but it happened.

The wildest and funniest shit that I have done, I do not remember. I've waken up to many times to stories about the shit that I did the night before. I woke up one morning limping. Pause, but my ass cheeks and right heel was hurting. Get you fucking head out the gutter right now. A couple hours later I get text messages asking me if I'm alright because I fell down the stairs something crazy. I woke up on my brother's couch one afternoon, asked him how we got there and he said I drove. He also said that I drive better drunk than sober. (I doubt it, but I don't remember). I was also told that I started smashing a girl in the passenger seat, at the gas station, while my boy went in to pay for some gas. When he got back, I didn't stop. SMH, once again, don't judge me.

After proofreading this shit, I really need to stop drinking. They say the truth comes out when you're drunk. I believe this is correct for about 80% of the time. The other 20% is an unconscience effort to do the exact opposite of what you would normally do. How many of you blame it on the alcohol? All of you. How many of you make plans to blame it on the alcohol?? If this is you, SMH.

FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD:

What’s up with this forwarding text message crave. People forward anything. If it’s corny, keep it to yourself. This is the latest one that I got…

FWD: If black people lived in a jacket, where would they stay?? The hood!
My response, “Are you fucking serious??”

There are a bunch of different genres of forwards being generated.

1. Porn aka my favorite. You can send S Dott a pic of a big ass and a caption any day. Please refrain from sending gay shit to people who are not gay.

2. Disgusting Porn. Who really wants to see a man with Elephantitis?? Who wants to see an Asian or White women eating shit?? Who wants to see a naked transvestite?? Here’s a hint…. Not Me.

3. Chain Mail. Listen, I will not have 7 years bad luck if I do not forward this text to 10 people. You will not be decapitated if you do not forward that text within 30 minutes. Your parents will not burn in hell if you do not follow all of the directions. Cut this shit out.

4. Jokes. If you do not literally laugh out loud when you read it, there’s a good chance the person you forward it to will not chuckle. Discard immediately. In the event, you receive a rare but comical forwards, feel free to distribute.
FWD: FWD: I wanna put whip cream, cherries, chocolate, n honey all ova ur body, lay u down and watch the roaches attack ur ass.
FWD: FWD: I applied for a job in a mental hospital. They said I need 24 hours of experience wit a retard. U wanna chill tomorrow?

5. Tell me about me forwards. These are the forwards many people use to find out what people thing about them. For example, FWD: Play along… If you saw me in a policecar, what would you think I got arrested for?? Or FWD: If you woke up next to me naked on valentines day, what would you say in three words?? Everyone has received these forwards. If you haven’t, it’s probably because you’re ugly. Haha.

6. Philosophical words of motivation. I receive these daily. I really don’t have a problem with them, unless I can’t read it. Do not quote Shakespeare, reword it to make it read easy. If I don’t get it the first time, I’m not reading over it again. Why the hell should I have to take notes on a 160 character message??
FWD: If you wish to eliminate fear, lack and disease, concentrate on courage, abundance, and health. Always concentrate on the ideal as an already existing fact. Thought is the property of those only who can entertain it.
My response, “Keep that shit to yourself.”

Things I Can't Understand

How can white people make beautiful music, but can't dance on beat?? I really do not get it. Of course I'm being general, but think about it. Rock and Roll has precise measures. It's very loud. You feel it in a concert. If you can feel the music, why are you moving to an unheard rhythm??

SMH

Sextreme Scavenger Hunt Items 3 & 4

If you do not know how this works, see Scavenger Hunt

ITEM 3 - Sex in a club
Sounds crazy, but it's really not that hard to do. Find a discreet corner or bathroom and do what you do. Try to be sneaky about it, but if people begin to notice, make sure you go hard. You never want to let people catch you in the middle of lazy strokes, no matter the situation.

ITEM 4 - Head in the car (with someone in the backseat)
This really doesn't need a summary. This can be difficult to pull off.




ITEM 1 - Head in the Car Wash
ITEM 2 - Sex While on the Phone with Parents

Are You Seriously Gonna F*ck That Stripper??

Seriously. I know you have been to the strip club and seen that 1 guy who can't get enough. He treats the strip club like a social lounge and tries to bag every stripper that pops her ass. Thirsty. This guy gets attitudes if she dances for another man. I know a bunch of people who have talked to strippers. I know a couple who have wifed a stripper. In the end, there's never anything good to say about the situation. Yeah, she's bad. She knows all the right moves. I mean, ALLLL the right moves. If you ever got the chance, what would honestly be going through your head??

Some dudes are cool with having sex with hookers. I'm not one of them. I'm not 'directly' paying for it, but that's a whole other topic. Plus, there are too many diseases flying around our society. You might f*ck around and get the bird flu running up in something. Condoms protect you from 99.9% of them, but condoms pop. I'm not saying that all strippers are hookers. I'm not even calling most strippers hookers, but if she lets you smash, there's a strong possibility that you are far from her first customer.

Back to topic - Have you ever heard the interviews of strippers. It's their job to milk the money out of your pockets. When a man tries to impress a stripper, they do not attempt to reduce the man's spending. They sit around shaking that ass in front of you until that money runs out. Then they spend some time with the next dummy looking to toss next months mortgage and car payment on the floor. It's not likely, the stripper will fall in love on the job. They are professional seducers of cash. You must understand that this is their job. Are you really willing to give up everything Jay-Z talks about in this song??

Don't let T-Pain's I'm In Love With A Stripper gas you. Think about it, what do you think a Tip Drill really is. It has nothing to do with sex. It's a dance that the stripper does to make you TIP her. It's not cool to fall in love with a stripper. If you meet her in the mall or at a night club, do what you do. But stop going to her job trying to f*ck. Take the lap dance and be satisfied.

Shout out to Sue's Rendezvous AKA my favorite strip club. The girls go crazy in there, then they take their showers in front of you to wash off the chocolate syrup, saliva, sticky drinks and whatever else gets on their body in the course of action.

Have You Ever

Have you ever had a crush on your teacher?? In high school, I had a crazy crush on one of my teachers. She was fresh out of college into my classroom. I was a mutha f*ck* in High School too. I let her know what was on my mind, in a nice way though. I'm good with words. There were times i would be stuck in class looking at her thick ass legs. She had this thing about sitting on top of her desk with them skirts on. I was about 16-17, so you already know what I was thinking. She used to catch me all the time, but like I said, I'm good with words. She would ask me questions when she thought I wasn't paying attention and I always knew the answer. But one day, she caught me staring at her ass, then she just looked like me with this "Sami, I'm really not surprised, but you are too damn young" look. After class she asked me to stay for a second. Everybody left. I had like 6 players of the football team in that class, so they're making noises and sh*t as they're leaving. Pretty immature and f*ckin up my flow.

So she closes the door. I'm thinking, "Damn, it's about to go down. Yesssssssss!" So I pops one of them life savers strawberry creme savers in my mouth trying to get that flavor swirled around for a kiss.LOL. Shorties loved that creme savor kiss back then. Then she says, "Sami, you are a nice looking guy." I swear, I was the cockiest kid in school at that moment. Then she broke my heart. "I am your teacher. Thank you for the nice things you say about me, but it is inappropriate." I had the hurt, but cool face at this point. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. So, by this time, she's all packed up. I grab my bag and start to head out of the room after my soft ass "I understand" speech. Then she told me to stop being so obvious with my staring, that's a turn off. She must have known that would make me smile.

Recently, in a random conversation, this conversation came up. I was asked if i ever had sex with a teacher. The answer was and is no. She told me that I should make this a part of my scavenger hunt. I'm thinking, this is a pretty hard task. Then I told her how i felt about it. I said I'm trying to keep this as real as possible. I don't want to talk about things that can't be done. Then she interrupted, "I've done it more than once." Now, I'm not going to say the first thing that came to my mind, because she obviously has read my blog. I said, "You're f*ckin lying." So she tells me about the first time. Her SR year in high school. She was 18. She said her boyfriend cheated on her and she wanted to f*ck the teacher.

She wrote an anonymous note to him and managed to sneak it into his paperwork when he wasn't at his desk. She 'claimed' that she knew he wanted to f*ck her by the way he used to look and talk to her. The note read something like, "If you could f*ck any girl in this class, who would it be?" Two days later, she wore something sexy to his class, out of the ordinary, and he must have figured out who wrote the note. In the middle of his class, he makes his answer obvious. He gives the class problems to solve and when the time is up. He begins to call them up to the front one by one. He looks at her and says, " (her name) I choose you first. Come up and explain the first problem." By the way he said it, she knew he knew that she had read the note. She also got the answer to her question. She would not share the rest of the details with me, in fear that I would tell somebody about what happened..........

Who????? Me???????? LOL

Somehow they hooked up., and they did the do. She said he even went down on her. She said she didn't go down there on him, but I think she lying. LOL She also told me that she has spent the night at his house after graduation, but will not tell me how recently. SMH.

What did I do wrong?? Should I have written a note?? SMH LOL

What's Your Favorite??

AriZona

Let's be honest. What's better than drinking that cold AriZona on a hot summer day?? AriZonais making a killin in the hood. At the outside basketball court, you don't see gatorade or powerade. We get the 99 cent AriZonas. when you get the munchies, you go to the store and grab some chips, cookies and an Arizona. There are mad different flavors, but we tend to stick Kiwi Strawberry, Lemon Iced Tea, and Fruit Punch.

"You want something from the store?"

"Yeh"

"What??"

"Grab me a Arizona"

"What kind"

"Any kind"

How many times have you been a part of this ongoing conversation. AriZona shut things down with this 99 cent 24 oz. They really crushed the competition with this. Why get the 50 cent can of orange or grape drink, when you can get the AriZona that tastes a lot better?? When is the last time you had an AriZona. I had two today after i left the court. Walking off the court, I seen 4 other people drinking them. I'm at a cookout right now. Theres a lot of food and drinks here, but people just hopped out of the car with 4 of them. One is not opened yet, I'll let you know if I get it. LOL

What's Your Favorite??

Sextreme Scavenger Hunt Items 1 & 2

If you do not know how this works, see Scavenger Hunt

ITEM 1 - Head in the Car Wash

This blew my mind when I heard it. Highly original and daring. This is probably better performed spontaneously, but we are taking the spontaneity out of the picture. This is the first item of the hunt. Don't hold Back.

ITEM 2 - Sex While on the Phone with Parents

This is a very simple task. I hope this turns you on as much as it did me. There's just something about going hard while someone is on the phone. I can't explain it, hopefully you will be able to do that in the comment box. Don't Hold Back.

Sextreme Scavenger Hunt

As men, we share stories about sex. We don't normally use names but we use vivid detail. We tell of how good it is, how random it was, whether or not we want it to happen again. Everyone is always trying to out-do the other when it comes to stories. I hope you don't get the wrong impression of me, but I normally have the most extreme stories, until recently. I am about to challenge you right now. No excuses. Nothing. It doesn't matter if you're single or married. The summer is coming, let's have some fun. Every couple of days or so, I will be posting new additions to our Sextreme Scavenger Hunt. You can comment anonymously to the postings, so no one will know your identity.

There is one rule to the scavenger hunt.

THERE ARE NO RULES

How I Works - I will post different events/activities involving sexual activities. You get credit for being any part of the activity. For example if it involves head, you get credit for giving or receiving. If you have never done these things, you must do it in a timely fashion.

OK, I lied. There is one rule. You can not be stingy. Share this information people.

It's been a while

I know. I know. I know. I know.


It's been a while since my last blog. What can I say other than I've been busy trying to upgrade my lifestyle. But, let's get back to the bullshit. The topic of today is racism. When is racism appropriate?? What qualifies as racism?? Is everyone some sort of racist??

I am a racist. I do not treat anyone differently based on their race, but I laugh at the cultural and physical difference all the time.


Don't Judge Me. When is the last time you laughed at a racist comment?? When's the last time you laughed at how white people dance?? When's the last time you had the screw face trying to understand what an Asian was saying to you?? When's the last time you laughed at a Jamaican's outfit?? When's the last time you shook your head at a little spanish girl's dress?? When's the last time you imitated an African accent?? When's the next time you'll laugh at something racist??


If you follow me on twitter.com/mylifesaflic you know that I encounter different races daily, and I talk about them all the same. I work in a store where I see everyrace everyday, so I know that Asians(who speak their native language) can not say 3. I do not know what it is, but they have the problem. I also know that all the true mexicans favorite hobby is futbol. I don't even have to ask anymore. I know that no matter the odds, situation or event, an African man is never wrong. Puerto rican women love me. Puerto rican men cuff their women in the presence of other men. I guess it's like a dog leaving their scent. No matter what story you tell a white person, they always ssem to act like they were there with you. Finishing your sentences. Ok white girl, you don't know what happened next, let me tell you. And black people complain more than any other race. Black people don't know when to shut up. Black people walk around like everyone is in their debt.

Growing up, it was always the white cops that threw me around, beat me up, shit-talked, etc. etc. Presently, the black cops are the ones who are racial profiling. I don't get it. Are you better than me because you are a cop, Officer Fuckhead?? White cops give you a chance to defend yourself, verbally of course. Black cops, at least in my city, believe in guilty until proven innocent.





What happened to Dave chappelle??

The Chappelle Show was cancelled on May 25, 2005. What the hell happened to the funniest man in show business. We haven't seen anything from him since 2006. Dave, the world needs you. Who is going to fill the gap that Dave left. Comedians are not the same anymore. When the Chappelle Show started to air, America stopped watching Comic view. It seems like there is a new Def Comedy Jam every 3 years. This is too long to wait for comedy. I think I'm going to have to be the one to fill the gap, but Dave did some things that no one could ever compare to.

Think about the Mad Real World, the Playa Haters, or the Prince episode. How many times have you heard someone scream, "I'm ricccchhhhh bbbbiiittttccchhhh." Think about Ashy Larry or Tyrone Biggum. The Chappelle Show appealed to men, women, blacks and whites, old and young, everyone. Comedy, period, has fallen off since his dismissal. I laugh more with my friends than I do watchin TV. Right now, I feel like Kyle, the homo from College Hill South Beach, is in the top 5 funniest people on TV, and all he does is make a fool of himself. Diddy is also in that list, and he is just being serious. It's like the people who try to be funny, or the people who get paid to make us laugh are not even funny. They should give me a show.

R.I.P. Bernie Mack, but his TV show was and still whack. I'm mad it comes on after the 70's show which actually keeps a smile on my face with the corny, but comical humor. What happened to Martin (klassic), Fresh Prince (klassic) or Sanford & Son (klassic). I heard of a show called Operation Repo on thursdays nights. I've been told by a couple people now that it's the funniest thing on TV.

I want you to get back to me on this. Who is the funniest man alive in the absence of Dave Chappelle??

Oh, and don't go see Dance Flick. It fuckin sucks. Goodnight.

What Women Don't Want

What Women Don't Want

Women's turn offs are typically based on hygiene. I had fun listening to the feedback from the ladies on this side of the spectrum. Women do not know what it is they want, but they know exactly what they don't want. Men, on the other hand, know what they want and are more likely to deal with what they don't want. In general, men and women think very differently about the opposite sex. Let me just get into the responses.

Bad Breath – Definitely at the top of the list. Ladies really dislike bad breath. Fellas you should know if you sh*t ain't fresh. If you don’t know, take the test. Taste whats going on in your mouth, if you don’t get that fresh minty or sweet gum satisfaction, you need to do something about it. There is not a such thing as decent breath. It’s either good, or it’s HORRIBLE.

Hair Cut - The hair can make or break you. Different women think certain styles are sexier or more presentable than others, but they all agree that it has to be neat. Most women prefer a well-groomed man.

Dirty Nails - If you take care of your hands, you probably take care of your body.

Stupidity/Whack Conversation - The right words can turn a women on for the moment. the wrong words can make a women leave your ass alone forever.

Jobless - Women, in general prefer a many with a job. It shows that you are doing something to promote yourself. You have the potential to take care of yourself, and her if needed. if you have no job, you are labeled a bumb. Get a job fam, then go back and get the girl.

AAAAYYYYYOOOOO, CCCOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR MA - No matter what your friends do, this is not the way to get a women's attention. It might work for the birds, but not with anyone worth wifing. They also claim they do not like when we grab them, as a man, I find this hard to believe.

Flight Jackets - This is the male equivalent of chinese sneakers. Burn it.

Fucked up sneakers - Same rules apply as the finger nails. If you take care of your feet, you take care of your body. Throw them raggedy ass tims in the garbage.

Height - Women do prefer height fellas. When asked how tall, they answered 6'1" or better. I'm 6'5" and I love it. LOL. Women do not want to be able to look at their man eye to eye while standing up.

Answering Phone during Conversation - Considered rude. I can really understand this one. What are you doing guy?? You picking up the phone over and over again shows that you are not into her.

"Babysitting his own child" - How is it possible to babysit your own child?? WTF?? Are you getting paid for this?? Do not ever say this to a women, even by accident. Immediate turnoff. Substitute the word babysitting with chilling or spending time with your child.

Ladies, I'm setting this up for PART II. Email me at SamiKash@Gmail.Com with the feedback.




S Dott New Track of the Day Gucci Mane Ft. Wingo of Jagged Edge - Buss It Down

If you still do not know about Gucci, it's time that you get familiar. He don'tmake no dancing music. Gucci is straight hood and his tracks hit hard. This aint the type of music you snap to.

S Dott Old School Track of the Day Foxy Brown Ft. Method Man - Ill Na Na

If you do not remember this song, do some research. This was foxy at her best. What happened to Foxy?? Has anyone seen her?? I'm bout to an APB out on Foxy and invite her washed up ass to my party. I used to have the craziest crush on Foxy in 9th grade. She was on thetop of list followed immediately by Stacy Dash and Jennifer Lopez.







I must shout out everyone who has given me feedback. I really appreciate it. I'm trying to keep this blog as real as possible, so you point of views matter mucho. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Instant Turnoffs in a Man's Eyes

I took the time to ask a bunch of family, friends, and strangers what turns them off in the first couple hours of meeting women. The list that I compiled it F*CKIN crazy. Ladies please read so you know. Guys please read to confirm. Everyone tell me their comments. SamiKash@gmail.com. I'm setting up a part two of this. If you are easily offended, skip this. If you send me hate-mail, I will pull your card online. I want everyone to know, these are not all my views, these are the answers to the survey taken.


Women With Mustache’s - WTF is up with this. No matter the situation this should not happen ever. How many new types of shavers come out each month? I see commercials for this all the time. There’s waxing, Nair and plucking. The pain that you will go through during the hair removal process is not comparable to the pain you will have by not finding a lover. No man wants to kiss a hairy cheek. Women should not be in the club with a 5 o’clock shadow. It’s not cute.

Hairy Women - The above topic brought up many different unattractive features hair. Legs, armpits, stomach...… C'mon ladies. If this is you, a self-reevaluation is definitely needed on your behalf. The first woman I see this summer with a hair chest at the beach is getting her picture taken. TRUST Hairy nipples?? What are you doing with yourself??Shave you bush too ladies. Men like the kitty shaved.

Ashy Ankles w/ Chinese Slippers – Number one, why are you still wearing Chinese slippers. Number 2, if you ankles are ashy, throw some sweat socks on with some sneakers. Oh, flip flops in the winter and fall ain't cute either. SMH.

Cigarettes – Some men do not mind. F*ck them, because I do. This is disgusting. Number 1, it stinks. Cigarettes have you smelling like your grandfathers old Cadillac. This is not Europe ladies. This is not the sixties. A cigarette is not a fashion statement.

Fucked up Teeth – Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it, but it is never too late for braces and a teeth cleansing. Use the health benefits and take care of your teeth.

Beggars – Beyonce set it up for you. Ne-Yo finished it off. Miss Independent is the sexiest thing out right now. Beggars get kicked out of the line-up pretty quickly. Girl, stop begging for a drink, I just met you.

Can’t Dress - If you are unsure about what to wear to the club there are many different websites catered to fashion. Handle that.

Shoes – I’m tired of seeing ladies walking around with four goddamn toes scraping the ground. Stop wearing open-toe sandals with calices.

Socks – No matter what, you should not be wearing mismatch socks.

Responses - A real dude hates a bird. Nuff said

Feet – This is more than an X-Factor. Men do not like feet that feel like sheetrock. We love pretty feet. No half-ass paint jobs on your toenails. Black toe nails – Natural black toenails. I mean they black but ain't no paint on them. Illlll. Strong Feet ain't cute either. You should not have more veins in your feet than your man.

Hair – Stop coming out the house with your hair wrapped up. And why the fuck are you dying your hair with real kool-aid. When I can see your tracks, there’s a problem. And If a someone is dancing with you with the “What the F*ck” face, it’s probably because your hair smells like DooDoo.






Check back tomorrow to see what the women hate.

April 21, 2009

My Life's A Flic - Coming April 27th, 2009

I hope we do not offend, but there is a strong possibility that it will happen. If you are easily offended, this may not be the right blog for you. This blog will feature many thoughts of the public. The thoughts that are silently shared. It's critical information that is witheld so that no one's feelings get hurt. I am currently taking emails at SamiKash@gmail.com Let me know some things that you have to get off of your chest, and I will share them with the world anonymously. In the mean time, check out http://www.irunthroughbabymommas.blogspot.com/.

Yours Truly,
Sami F. Kash