Wednesday, May 27, 2009

FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD:

What’s up with this forwarding text message crave. People forward anything. If it’s corny, keep it to yourself. This is the latest one that I got…

FWD: If black people lived in a jacket, where would they stay?? The hood!
My response, “Are you fucking serious??”

There are a bunch of different genres of forwards being generated.

1. Porn aka my favorite. You can send S Dott a pic of a big ass and a caption any day. Please refrain from sending gay shit to people who are not gay.

2. Disgusting Porn. Who really wants to see a man with Elephantitis?? Who wants to see an Asian or White women eating shit?? Who wants to see a naked transvestite?? Here’s a hint…. Not Me.

3. Chain Mail. Listen, I will not have 7 years bad luck if I do not forward this text to 10 people. You will not be decapitated if you do not forward that text within 30 minutes. Your parents will not burn in hell if you do not follow all of the directions. Cut this shit out.

4. Jokes. If you do not literally laugh out loud when you read it, there’s a good chance the person you forward it to will not chuckle. Discard immediately. In the event, you receive a rare but comical forwards, feel free to distribute.
FWD: FWD: I wanna put whip cream, cherries, chocolate, n honey all ova ur body, lay u down and watch the roaches attack ur ass.
FWD: FWD: I applied for a job in a mental hospital. They said I need 24 hours of experience wit a retard. U wanna chill tomorrow?

5. Tell me about me forwards. These are the forwards many people use to find out what people thing about them. For example, FWD: Play along… If you saw me in a policecar, what would you think I got arrested for?? Or FWD: If you woke up next to me naked on valentines day, what would you say in three words?? Everyone has received these forwards. If you haven’t, it’s probably because you’re ugly. Haha.

6. Philosophical words of motivation. I receive these daily. I really don’t have a problem with them, unless I can’t read it. Do not quote Shakespeare, reword it to make it read easy. If I don’t get it the first time, I’m not reading over it again. Why the hell should I have to take notes on a 160 character message??
FWD: If you wish to eliminate fear, lack and disease, concentrate on courage, abundance, and health. Always concentrate on the ideal as an already existing fact. Thought is the property of those only who can entertain it.
My response, “Keep that shit to yourself.”

Monday, May 25, 2009

Things I Can't Understand

How can white people make beautiful music, but can't dance on beat?? I really do not get it. Of course I'm being general, but think about it. Rock and Roll has precise measures. It's very loud. You feel it in a concert. If you can feel the music, why are you moving to an unheard rhythm??

SMH

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sextreme Scavenger Hunt Items 3 & 4

If you do not know how this works, see Scavenger Hunt

ITEM 3 - Sex in a club
Sounds crazy, but it's really not that hard to do. Find a discreet corner or bathroom and do what you do. Try to be sneaky about it, but if people begin to notice, make sure you go hard. You never want to let people catch you in the middle of lazy strokes, no matter the situation.

ITEM 4 - Head in the car (with someone in the backseat)
This really doesn't need a summary. This can be difficult to pull off.




ITEM 1 - Head in the Car Wash
ITEM 2 - Sex While on the Phone with Parents