Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Don't Do It!

I had a conversation yesterday with my cousin that has me puzzled. I wish I knew how some people think. I can't understand is how dudes wife up the neighborhood jumpoff. I need to know a few things

  • Are you serious??
  • What makes you want to build a relationship with a certified slut??
  • What makes you wanna build a relationship with someone who has slept with four or five people that you deal with on the regular basis??
  • Are you in denial??
  • Is the pussy really that good??
  • If yes, do your friends agree, because shes probably still fucking some of them??
  • Have you ever envisioned any of your friends smashing your girlfriend??
  • If yes, does that turn you on or something??
  • Do you kiss her passionately??
  • Did anyone warn you about her??
  • How many videos of her did you see on other niggas' phones??
  • Did anyone tell you to stop dealing with her??
  • Do you love this song??



If this is you, holla at me with some answers.
SamiKash@Gmail.com

Monday, June 15, 2009

Free Country Part 1

I hear this at least five times a week. "We live in a free country." What the fuck is free about the country we live in?? I paid for my cars. I just received my tax bills in the mail today. If this is a free country, why do I have to pay taxes on the shit I bought? I bought my house, and I have to pay close to five grand a year in taxes. I understand why I must pay the taxes, but what exactly is free about our country??

Free speech?? The first and fifth amendments only apply in court. I know plenty of people who have gotten arrested for doing nothing more than talking shit to a cop. I've gotten hit a couple times for telling a cop "shut the fuck up" or "get the fuck away from me" or "you ain't shit without that badge and gun." You can say I talk to police with a lot of respect. Is it really our constitutional right to say whatever you want. Were you able to say whatever it was that you wanted to your parents?? Here's a hint.... Hell no. I was a bad little mother fucker, so I said whatever it was I wanted to say. And I got my ass beat for it. I paid for my words, therefore they were not free.

The fifth amendment allows us to remain quiet, do we always have that choice?? When the cops walk up to you and ask you something, and you remain quiet, you're going to the station. No matter the situation. They will make you pay for being quiet. If your boss asks you why you are late and you respond with silence, the professional relationship is damaged. Your comfort level at work decreases, therefore you pay for being silent.

So I ask again, what the fuck is free?? I've heard air and opportunity. Yeah air is still free, unless you live in north jersey. Yesssss. North Jersey smells like dog farts. I said it, now let's move on. Opportunity?? how much opportunity do we have in this economy. The number of college graduates are increasing and the number of jobs available is decreasing. I'm always the one to say there's a lot of money to be made, but the opportunities of getting it is evaporating. You have to put in a lot of work to get one of the few opportunities left, therefore we must pay for our opportunities.

Welfare and other forms of State aid might seem free to those receiving it. But how can it be free when I'm paying for the shit. I'm tired of paying this crazy amount of taxes so that a bunch of "citizens" can live lazily. So the people who are doing something with their life, must support the people who are doing nothing. Seems to me like the only way to get something free, is to live life effortlessly. The more you make and the more you grow, the more you must give away. So please tell me, what the fuck is free??

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Good Sex

What is it about sex that has people fucked up?? Call me whatever you want, but I'm a believer that good sex can change the world. Think about that feeling youhave after you get a good nut, are you gonna run out and kill someone? Are you going to rob a bank after that? Are you going to fight after that? Good sex is the ultimate relaxation method. It can put you to sleep. It can make you forget about life's stressful nature. Good Sex can hold a relationship together for years. Good Sex involves mouths. Good Sex makes you breathe heavy even when you're not moving. Good Sex is the best exercise ever. Good Sex will leave multiple wet spots.

Good Sex can sometimes be a bad thing. Good sex can have you following someone that you shouldn't be in contact with at all. Good sex can have you forgetting about your obligations and responsibilities. Good sex can have you late for work. Good Sex can have you daydreaming while you're at work, getting nothing done. Good Sex can make a man pay for it (I don't understand it, but it happens). Good Sex can start rumors. Good Sex can make you act out of character. Good Sex can have you begging for it.

People say that sex isn't everything, but can you imagine if there wasn't a such thing as sex. If there was a different way of reproduction.... I'm serious just think about it for a second. Could you live a whole lifetime without sex. What would substitute sex?? Full body massages. Would people be rubbing shoulder on rose petals and candle light?? Would people have rub down fetishes?? Would people be in the gym like, "Yeah, she a freak, I rubbed the fuck out her big toe." Would you have to put on rubber gloves to give these massages. Life without sex would suck.


Shout out to everyone getting good sex.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Dumb Drunk Sh*t

Take a second and think about the first couple of thoughts that popped through your head when you read this title. Everyone has done some drunk shit in their life. Some, definitely dumber than others, but it's alright. I have spent too much time doing dumb drunk shit.


To top my list of dumb drunk shit, I have tried a couple times to open the door of the house with my car remote. Yeah, I know. I stood there pressing open, expecting the back door to fly open. I've also waken up on the side of roads and highways with no clue of how I got there or why I was there. I've sent my brother into the spot to get me a slice of pizza and driven home to go to sleep before he came out. I've waken up drunk and gone to work in the morning plenty times. I have gotten so drunk that I couldn't see and called the wrong chick. I tried to fight a cop downtown a couple towns. AG saved me once. J Hite saved me twice. I hate cops, but that's another entry in itself. I've peed on car door handles when the weather was below freezing so the piss would solidify on them, don't judge me. I've called my ex a celeberity's name. I do not remember which one.


Compared to other's, I'm just average. I know a dude who got faded and kissed a random crackhead bum in Philly. I know a drummer for a band, who actually has a video on MTV now, who woke up drunk in Virginia with a tattoo across all of his fingers. It says HOPELESS, of all things. He still doesn't even know the tattoo spot that he went to, to get it done. My boy tried to kill his cat with a plastic spoon. My other boy went a fair one with his mother. I know a girl who passed out in her car, threw up and peed on herself. I know a dude who passed out in the club bathroom, and shitted on himself. I know best friends who got drunk and fought each other in front of the cops. The fight escalated from a dumb ass argument over who was more drunk. I know someone who jumped from his bedroom window and broke his arm. One night stands with someone you normally wouldn't be caught in the same crowded room with. My boy sat with a bad one at the bar of a club and spit game while spitting up. How you throw up and holla at someone, I don't know, but it happened.

The wildest and funniest shit that I have done, I do not remember. I've waken up to many times to stories about the shit that I did the night before. I woke up one morning limping. Pause, but my ass cheeks and right heel was hurting. Get you fucking head out the gutter right now. A couple hours later I get text messages asking me if I'm alright because I fell down the stairs something crazy. I woke up on my brother's couch one afternoon, asked him how we got there and he said I drove. He also said that I drive better drunk than sober. (I doubt it, but I don't remember). I was also told that I started smashing a girl in the passenger seat, at the gas station, while my boy went in to pay for some gas. When he got back, I didn't stop. SMH, once again, don't judge me.

After proofreading this shit, I really need to stop drinking. They say the truth comes out when you're drunk. I believe this is correct for about 80% of the time. The other 20% is an unconscience effort to do the exact opposite of what you would normally do. How many of you blame it on the alcohol? All of you. How many of you make plans to blame it on the alcohol?? If this is you, SMH.