Are You Seriously Gonna F*ck That Stripper??

Seriously. I know you have been to the strip club and seen that 1 guy who can't get enough. He treats the strip club like a social lounge and tries to bag every stripper that pops her ass. Thirsty. This guy gets attitudes if she dances for another man. I know a bunch of people who have talked to strippers. I know a couple who have wifed a stripper. In the end, there's never anything good to say about the situation. Yeah, she's bad. She knows all the right moves. I mean, ALLLL the right moves. If you ever got the chance, what would honestly be going through your head??

Some dudes are cool with having sex with hookers. I'm not one of them. I'm not 'directly' paying for it, but that's a whole other topic. Plus, there are too many diseases flying around our society. You might f*ck around and get the bird flu running up in something. Condoms protect you from 99.9% of them, but condoms pop. I'm not saying that all strippers are hookers. I'm not even calling most strippers hookers, but if she lets you smash, there's a strong possibility that you are far from her first customer.

Back to topic - Have you ever heard the interviews of strippers. It's their job to milk the money out of your pockets. When a man tries to impress a stripper, they do not attempt to reduce the man's spending. They sit around shaking that ass in front of you until that money runs out. Then they spend some time with the next dummy looking to toss next months mortgage and car payment on the floor. It's not likely, the stripper will fall in love on the job. They are professional seducers of cash. You must understand that this is their job. Are you really willing to give up everything Jay-Z talks about in this song??

Don't let T-Pain's I'm In Love With A Stripper gas you. Think about it, what do you think a Tip Drill really is. It has nothing to do with sex. It's a dance that the stripper does to make you TIP her. It's not cool to fall in love with a stripper. If you meet her in the mall or at a night club, do what you do. But stop going to her job trying to f*ck. Take the lap dance and be satisfied.

Shout out to Sue's Rendezvous AKA my favorite strip club. The girls go crazy in there, then they take their showers in front of you to wash off the chocolate syrup, saliva, sticky drinks and whatever else gets on their body in the course of action.

Have You Ever

Have you ever had a crush on your teacher?? In high school, I had a crazy crush on one of my teachers. She was fresh out of college into my classroom. I was a mutha f*ck* in High School too. I let her know what was on my mind, in a nice way though. I'm good with words. There were times i would be stuck in class looking at her thick ass legs. She had this thing about sitting on top of her desk with them skirts on. I was about 16-17, so you already know what I was thinking. She used to catch me all the time, but like I said, I'm good with words. She would ask me questions when she thought I wasn't paying attention and I always knew the answer. But one day, she caught me staring at her ass, then she just looked like me with this "Sami, I'm really not surprised, but you are too damn young" look. After class she asked me to stay for a second. Everybody left. I had like 6 players of the football team in that class, so they're making noises and sh*t as they're leaving. Pretty immature and f*ckin up my flow.

So she closes the door. I'm thinking, "Damn, it's about to go down. Yesssssssss!" So I pops one of them life savers strawberry creme savers in my mouth trying to get that flavor swirled around for a kiss.LOL. Shorties loved that creme savor kiss back then. Then she says, "Sami, you are a nice looking guy." I swear, I was the cockiest kid in school at that moment. Then she broke my heart. "I am your teacher. Thank you for the nice things you say about me, but it is inappropriate." I had the hurt, but cool face at this point. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. So, by this time, she's all packed up. I grab my bag and start to head out of the room after my soft ass "I understand" speech. Then she told me to stop being so obvious with my staring, that's a turn off. She must have known that would make me smile.

Recently, in a random conversation, this conversation came up. I was asked if i ever had sex with a teacher. The answer was and is no. She told me that I should make this a part of my scavenger hunt. I'm thinking, this is a pretty hard task. Then I told her how i felt about it. I said I'm trying to keep this as real as possible. I don't want to talk about things that can't be done. Then she interrupted, "I've done it more than once." Now, I'm not going to say the first thing that came to my mind, because she obviously has read my blog. I said, "You're f*ckin lying." So she tells me about the first time. Her SR year in high school. She was 18. She said her boyfriend cheated on her and she wanted to f*ck the teacher.

She wrote an anonymous note to him and managed to sneak it into his paperwork when he wasn't at his desk. She 'claimed' that she knew he wanted to f*ck her by the way he used to look and talk to her. The note read something like, "If you could f*ck any girl in this class, who would it be?" Two days later, she wore something sexy to his class, out of the ordinary, and he must have figured out who wrote the note. In the middle of his class, he makes his answer obvious. He gives the class problems to solve and when the time is up. He begins to call them up to the front one by one. He looks at her and says, " (her name) I choose you first. Come up and explain the first problem." By the way he said it, she knew he knew that she had read the note. She also got the answer to her question. She would not share the rest of the details with me, in fear that I would tell somebody about what happened..........

Who????? Me???????? LOL

Somehow they hooked up., and they did the do. She said he even went down on her. She said she didn't go down there on him, but I think she lying. LOL She also told me that she has spent the night at his house after graduation, but will not tell me how recently. SMH.

What did I do wrong?? Should I have written a note?? SMH LOL

What's Your Favorite??

AriZona

Let's be honest. What's better than drinking that cold AriZona on a hot summer day?? AriZonais making a killin in the hood. At the outside basketball court, you don't see gatorade or powerade. We get the 99 cent AriZonas. when you get the munchies, you go to the store and grab some chips, cookies and an Arizona. There are mad different flavors, but we tend to stick Kiwi Strawberry, Lemon Iced Tea, and Fruit Punch.

"You want something from the store?"

"Yeh"

"What??"

"Grab me a Arizona"

"What kind"

"Any kind"

How many times have you been a part of this ongoing conversation. AriZona shut things down with this 99 cent 24 oz. They really crushed the competition with this. Why get the 50 cent can of orange or grape drink, when you can get the AriZona that tastes a lot better?? When is the last time you had an AriZona. I had two today after i left the court. Walking off the court, I seen 4 other people drinking them. I'm at a cookout right now. Theres a lot of food and drinks here, but people just hopped out of the car with 4 of them. One is not opened yet, I'll let you know if I get it. LOL

What's Your Favorite??

Sextreme Scavenger Hunt Items 1 & 2

If you do not know how this works, see Scavenger Hunt

ITEM 1 - Head in the Car Wash

This blew my mind when I heard it. Highly original and daring. This is probably better performed spontaneously, but we are taking the spontaneity out of the picture. This is the first item of the hunt. Don't hold Back.

ITEM 2 - Sex While on the Phone with Parents

This is a very simple task. I hope this turns you on as much as it did me. There's just something about going hard while someone is on the phone. I can't explain it, hopefully you will be able to do that in the comment box. Don't Hold Back.

Sextreme Scavenger Hunt

As men, we share stories about sex. We don't normally use names but we use vivid detail. We tell of how good it is, how random it was, whether or not we want it to happen again. Everyone is always trying to out-do the other when it comes to stories. I hope you don't get the wrong impression of me, but I normally have the most extreme stories, until recently. I am about to challenge you right now. No excuses. Nothing. It doesn't matter if you're single or married. The summer is coming, let's have some fun. Every couple of days or so, I will be posting new additions to our Sextreme Scavenger Hunt. You can comment anonymously to the postings, so no one will know your identity.

There is one rule to the scavenger hunt.

THERE ARE NO RULES

How I Works - I will post different events/activities involving sexual activities. You get credit for being any part of the activity. For example if it involves head, you get credit for giving or receiving. If you have never done these things, you must do it in a timely fashion.

OK, I lied. There is one rule. You can not be stingy. Share this information people.

It's been a while

I know. I know. I know. I know.


It's been a while since my last blog. What can I say other than I've been busy trying to upgrade my lifestyle. But, let's get back to the bullshit. The topic of today is racism. When is racism appropriate?? What qualifies as racism?? Is everyone some sort of racist??

I am a racist. I do not treat anyone differently based on their race, but I laugh at the cultural and physical difference all the time.


Don't Judge Me. When is the last time you laughed at a racist comment?? When's the last time you laughed at how white people dance?? When's the last time you had the screw face trying to understand what an Asian was saying to you?? When's the last time you laughed at a Jamaican's outfit?? When's the last time you shook your head at a little spanish girl's dress?? When's the last time you imitated an African accent?? When's the next time you'll laugh at something racist??


If you follow me on twitter.com/mylifesaflic you know that I encounter different races daily, and I talk about them all the same. I work in a store where I see everyrace everyday, so I know that Asians(who speak their native language) can not say 3. I do not know what it is, but they have the problem. I also know that all the true mexicans favorite hobby is futbol. I don't even have to ask anymore. I know that no matter the odds, situation or event, an African man is never wrong. Puerto rican women love me. Puerto rican men cuff their women in the presence of other men. I guess it's like a dog leaving their scent. No matter what story you tell a white person, they always ssem to act like they were there with you. Finishing your sentences. Ok white girl, you don't know what happened next, let me tell you. And black people complain more than any other race. Black people don't know when to shut up. Black people walk around like everyone is in their debt.

Growing up, it was always the white cops that threw me around, beat me up, shit-talked, etc. etc. Presently, the black cops are the ones who are racial profiling. I don't get it. Are you better than me because you are a cop, Officer Fuckhead?? White cops give you a chance to defend yourself, verbally of course. Black cops, at least in my city, believe in guilty until proven innocent.





What happened to Dave chappelle??

The Chappelle Show was cancelled on May 25, 2005. What the hell happened to the funniest man in show business. We haven't seen anything from him since 2006. Dave, the world needs you. Who is going to fill the gap that Dave left. Comedians are not the same anymore. When the Chappelle Show started to air, America stopped watching Comic view. It seems like there is a new Def Comedy Jam every 3 years. This is too long to wait for comedy. I think I'm going to have to be the one to fill the gap, but Dave did some things that no one could ever compare to.

Think about the Mad Real World, the Playa Haters, or the Prince episode. How many times have you heard someone scream, "I'm ricccchhhhh bbbbiiittttccchhhh." Think about Ashy Larry or Tyrone Biggum. The Chappelle Show appealed to men, women, blacks and whites, old and young, everyone. Comedy, period, has fallen off since his dismissal. I laugh more with my friends than I do watchin TV. Right now, I feel like Kyle, the homo from College Hill South Beach, is in the top 5 funniest people on TV, and all he does is make a fool of himself. Diddy is also in that list, and he is just being serious. It's like the people who try to be funny, or the people who get paid to make us laugh are not even funny. They should give me a show.

R.I.P. Bernie Mack, but his TV show was and still whack. I'm mad it comes on after the 70's show which actually keeps a smile on my face with the corny, but comical humor. What happened to Martin (klassic), Fresh Prince (klassic) or Sanford & Son (klassic). I heard of a show called Operation Repo on thursdays nights. I've been told by a couple people now that it's the funniest thing on TV.

I want you to get back to me on this. Who is the funniest man alive in the absence of Dave Chappelle??

Oh, and don't go see Dance Flick. It fuckin sucks. Goodnight.

What Women Don't Want

What Women Don't Want

Women's turn offs are typically based on hygiene. I had fun listening to the feedback from the ladies on this side of the spectrum. Women do not know what it is they want, but they know exactly what they don't want. Men, on the other hand, know what they want and are more likely to deal with what they don't want. In general, men and women think very differently about the opposite sex. Let me just get into the responses.

Bad Breath – Definitely at the top of the list. Ladies really dislike bad breath. Fellas you should know if you sh*t ain't fresh. If you don’t know, take the test. Taste whats going on in your mouth, if you don’t get that fresh minty or sweet gum satisfaction, you need to do something about it. There is not a such thing as decent breath. It’s either good, or it’s HORRIBLE.

Hair Cut - The hair can make or break you. Different women think certain styles are sexier or more presentable than others, but they all agree that it has to be neat. Most women prefer a well-groomed man.

Dirty Nails - If you take care of your hands, you probably take care of your body.

Stupidity/Whack Conversation - The right words can turn a women on for the moment. the wrong words can make a women leave your ass alone forever.

Jobless - Women, in general prefer a many with a job. It shows that you are doing something to promote yourself. You have the potential to take care of yourself, and her if needed. if you have no job, you are labeled a bumb. Get a job fam, then go back and get the girl.

AAAAYYYYYOOOOO, CCCOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR MA - No matter what your friends do, this is not the way to get a women's attention. It might work for the birds, but not with anyone worth wifing. They also claim they do not like when we grab them, as a man, I find this hard to believe.

Flight Jackets - This is the male equivalent of chinese sneakers. Burn it.

Fucked up sneakers - Same rules apply as the finger nails. If you take care of your feet, you take care of your body. Throw them raggedy ass tims in the garbage.

Height - Women do prefer height fellas. When asked how tall, they answered 6'1" or better. I'm 6'5" and I love it. LOL. Women do not want to be able to look at their man eye to eye while standing up.

Answering Phone during Conversation - Considered rude. I can really understand this one. What are you doing guy?? You picking up the phone over and over again shows that you are not into her.

"Babysitting his own child" - How is it possible to babysit your own child?? WTF?? Are you getting paid for this?? Do not ever say this to a women, even by accident. Immediate turnoff. Substitute the word babysitting with chilling or spending time with your child.

Ladies, I'm setting this up for PART II. Email me at SamiKash@Gmail.Com with the feedback.




S Dott New Track of the Day Gucci Mane Ft. Wingo of Jagged Edge - Buss It Down

If you still do not know about Gucci, it's time that you get familiar. He don'tmake no dancing music. Gucci is straight hood and his tracks hit hard. This aint the type of music you snap to.

S Dott Old School Track of the Day Foxy Brown Ft. Method Man - Ill Na Na

If you do not remember this song, do some research. This was foxy at her best. What happened to Foxy?? Has anyone seen her?? I'm bout to an APB out on Foxy and invite her washed up ass to my party. I used to have the craziest crush on Foxy in 9th grade. She was on thetop of list followed immediately by Stacy Dash and Jennifer Lopez.







I must shout out everyone who has given me feedback. I really appreciate it. I'm trying to keep this blog as real as possible, so you point of views matter mucho. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Instant Turnoffs in a Man's Eyes

I took the time to ask a bunch of family, friends, and strangers what turns them off in the first couple hours of meeting women. The list that I compiled it F*CKIN crazy. Ladies please read so you know. Guys please read to confirm. Everyone tell me their comments. SamiKash@gmail.com. I'm setting up a part two of this. If you are easily offended, skip this. If you send me hate-mail, I will pull your card online. I want everyone to know, these are not all my views, these are the answers to the survey taken.


Women With Mustache’s - WTF is up with this. No matter the situation this should not happen ever. How many new types of shavers come out each month? I see commercials for this all the time. There’s waxing, Nair and plucking. The pain that you will go through during the hair removal process is not comparable to the pain you will have by not finding a lover. No man wants to kiss a hairy cheek. Women should not be in the club with a 5 o’clock shadow. It’s not cute.

Hairy Women - The above topic brought up many different unattractive features hair. Legs, armpits, stomach...… C'mon ladies. If this is you, a self-reevaluation is definitely needed on your behalf. The first woman I see this summer with a hair chest at the beach is getting her picture taken. TRUST Hairy nipples?? What are you doing with yourself??Shave you bush too ladies. Men like the kitty shaved.

Ashy Ankles w/ Chinese Slippers – Number one, why are you still wearing Chinese slippers. Number 2, if you ankles are ashy, throw some sweat socks on with some sneakers. Oh, flip flops in the winter and fall ain't cute either. SMH.

Cigarettes – Some men do not mind. F*ck them, because I do. This is disgusting. Number 1, it stinks. Cigarettes have you smelling like your grandfathers old Cadillac. This is not Europe ladies. This is not the sixties. A cigarette is not a fashion statement.

Fucked up Teeth – Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it, but it is never too late for braces and a teeth cleansing. Use the health benefits and take care of your teeth.

Beggars – Beyonce set it up for you. Ne-Yo finished it off. Miss Independent is the sexiest thing out right now. Beggars get kicked out of the line-up pretty quickly. Girl, stop begging for a drink, I just met you.

Can’t Dress - If you are unsure about what to wear to the club there are many different websites catered to fashion. Handle that.

Shoes – I’m tired of seeing ladies walking around with four goddamn toes scraping the ground. Stop wearing open-toe sandals with calices.

Socks – No matter what, you should not be wearing mismatch socks.

Responses - A real dude hates a bird. Nuff said

Feet – This is more than an X-Factor. Men do not like feet that feel like sheetrock. We love pretty feet. No half-ass paint jobs on your toenails. Black toe nails – Natural black toenails. I mean they black but ain't no paint on them. Illlll. Strong Feet ain't cute either. You should not have more veins in your feet than your man.

Hair – Stop coming out the house with your hair wrapped up. And why the fuck are you dying your hair with real kool-aid. When I can see your tracks, there’s a problem. And If a someone is dancing with you with the “What the F*ck” face, it’s probably because your hair smells like DooDoo.






Check back tomorrow to see what the women hate.

April 21, 2009

My Life's A Flic - Coming April 27th, 2009

I hope we do not offend, but there is a strong possibility that it will happen. If you are easily offended, this may not be the right blog for you. This blog will feature many thoughts of the public. The thoughts that are silently shared. It's critical information that is witheld so that no one's feelings get hurt. I am currently taking emails at SamiKash@gmail.com Let me know some things that you have to get off of your chest, and I will share them with the world anonymously. In the mean time, check out http://www.irunthroughbabymommas.blogspot.com/.

Yours Truly,
Sami F. Kash